나의 천사

Last of its post

2010-06-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

sad to say, I would leave this blog to rot as I would blog via wretch.~~~

BB all..

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/aarongan05

another fatal mistake~~

2010-06-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night around the period from 11pm to 12am, my HTC phone received a message which I would not dare to imagine. Eventually, I went to the clinic to take d "X"paper from the nurse at the counter; her cheerful smile comforted me slightly but I could not avoid the reality. In the "x" paper, the word "recommended" troubled me for the entire night causing me almost sleepless night.

With a strong drive, I was so eager to tell my dear regarding this but I couldn't get through her and seeing her exhausted and a little pressurized due to her complex schedule, I thought to back off and settle this by myself again. Standing alone, I feel it would not troubled the people beside me. Others might think that my matter is just a minor problem or maybe is to be taken for granted but to me personally, its like the matter of life and death.....

I wouldn't force others to put themselves into my shoes or sympathy.. but just their ignorance...

Today, my 1st class really cheered me up momentarily as my mind went white like a blank paper; no worries or troubles but it was another story later on. Later it was my mutual class with her and she was chatting all happily with her friends. Deep inside, I had brought the "X" paper with me, wanting to show her and telling her my misery since I had no one else to share with. Throughout the class, as she was busy chatting with her friends, my soul felt lonely and empty although she was just right beside me. My mood sunk down like a landslide and I had no intention of telling initially, seeing her with a happy-go-lucky attitude. As a result, there was no eagerness in me to break her mood as she had just underwent a tough week and there are more on the way.

Later on, my temper and mood just fluctuate causing me to leave her behind alone which I hardly perform acts like this. The main thing is that I realised that the "x" paper was missing! omg that form cost around rm180!!!

Can u imagine that sort of situation!!! without a doubt, I was running up and down, struggling to find that "x" paper but it was nowhere to be found.Regardless of that current situation, I went to ep, the girls dorm to search the "x" paper in her file but unfortunately, it wasn't there. At that moment, there was this intense pressure hovering me.

I felt like screaming or crying out loud but that was not my option. Quickly, I gave a call to my doctor and thank god! a light of hope had sparked! He told me that it was covered by insurance and it was possible to refund rm180 if I choose not to go.

As a result, I took the chance to tell her everything, my misery, trouble, worries and dissatisfaction. Regretfully, I asked her the same previous question and to consider seriously. Some might say that I m being too emotional or worry too much about the little details and obstacles in a relationship In my perception, these little problems which are not sorted out will eventually affect your relationship heavily and leading to an undesirable situation consequently.

It always that this health matter will affect me deeply and its not be taken lightly within myself. This will definitely reflect on her and myself....

Based on the answer she gave me, I felt confident and I deeply hoped this sparkle of fire will continue burning...

A clear msg to two ppl~

2010-06-13T05:13:00.001-07:00

well i will make short and direct because this has bothered me recently:

1st,

please dun bother me anymore although i appreciate your care and presence. The main point is i have a gf ady! so try to understand the situation. Like I told you b4, i have my limits and dun try me... If this continues, I would rather break off our friendship.

2nd,

I do understand friendship is important and it doesnt matter if that person is in relationship, his/her friendship still goes on. BT! watch your attitude because i am always watching you...pls know your limits~~

the end of 1st crush

2010-04-17T04:45:00.000-07:00

On 15/4, via msn, she was reminiscing back her good memories with me and accidentally went over the topic of liking each other before. Honestly, it was my sincere and fragile decision to tell that she was my crush and ending up we sort informing each other’s feelings priory. From my point of view, her figure of speech over the messenger chat box was hinting that her intention is vague; travel back in time and would had want to walk the same road with me before she had decided to left for overseas.

Her sudden and impatient question shot a bullet straight into my conscience when she asked, “if we have a chance to get back together again, would you want to?” Without a doubt, I answered, “ (name), although you were once a perfect girl in my heart, it is different now as my heart is occupied with a perfect person now. It is wasteful to look into the past but instead focus on the future.”

It was the same day itself our bond became stronger~~~~~

Relationships

2010-03-12T04:19:00.000-08:00

*blows Man, this blog resembles an old wrecked house. My head wouldn’t dare to imagine what it would be like for the following semesters. With an occupied schedule and commitment, my life is currently like a boy gasping for air in an overwhelming crowd. I don’t like the fact which I would take some things for granted as well as pushing aside responsibilities, commitments and promises which I had made to myself; It’s a bad habit of neglecting one’s principles. I guess all these require self-discipline.
Still, the main part of my life I would like to preserve and prioritize is my relationships with my girlfriend, family and friends as they matter to me the most.
It’s like a breeze that we have been together for 6 months and I would say it has been a good period of time with ups and downs in our relationship. At least for me, in the age of 20, I had all my ‘1st’ Haha*smiles. Please do not mistake me as a pervert but more like a young boy who is excited with things he hasn’t seen before in his entire life. Now that I reminisce back our memories, it always put a smile on my face whenever I’m down or my mind going blank.
To me, personally, it is vital to maintain and preserve this relationship as I don’t want this to end.

Its been a long time~~~~

2010-02-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

Likewise, it has been a really an ancient time since I last blogged. This phrase is being used frequently in my blog frequently if you guys noticed~ why? well, it means its time to store my memory into the hard disk(blog) before the main CPU(brain) blow into pieces

It’s a place where I pour out my jovial and saddened memories. Recently, since the beginning of the semester, a mixture of happenings has occurred in my daily life. I have been thinking; are all these events and happenings are meant to strengthen me up? to test my courage and perseverance? or to break down my spiritual strength?

Well, I figured out eventually that its all in my head. It’s up to me whether my perceptions would direct to positive or negative side. Besides, this phrase I have been sharing with my friends as the saying goes, “Environment influences a person’s personality and characteristic.” People breaking down in front me or simply indirectly motivating me or vice versa are part and parcel in my life now. Every single day, I face various situations and problems including good and bad events. I’ m thinking in my head, when’s my turn to break down? or to cry out loud the burden and pressure in me?

The answer is no…. it’s impossible for me as I have loads of responsibilities and tasks waiting behind me. In a way, I’m trying hard to develop a positive mind where I could handle obstacles and problems confidently - an inner voice which keeps reminding me “ NEVER GIVE UP, YOU NEVER TRY, YOU NEVER KNOW and etc”

A blessed xmas~

2009-12-30T07:18:00.000-08:00

It has been long since I last wrote… still I could only find this time to blog~~~
The blessed and memorable Xmas started when I was chosen to play for the Christmas eve worship.
It had been my dream to play along with the trio of my church’s band – My brother, Jin Shan and Matthew. These three are the best combination of musicians I have ever met; they are skillful yet humble~~ Although I did messed up a little in the midst of songs, the presence of 100% satisfaction and overflowing joy was accompanying me that moment…

Before that, my dear including my MMU friends and I went to have a whole turkey INITIALLY at Amigo but unfortunately, our luck wasn’t there~~ still, we had turkey sets followed by some NOOBERS ordered Japanese cuisine. Can you believe it? Eating Japanese food on XMAS day?! What a joke~~ inevitably, I was laughing inside…
They joined my church’s worship which I was so glad to have my dear and my good friends by my side. It really boosted up my spiritual strength~~ My confidence rocketed as I could see a little face watching from the back~~ >.<

Eventually, we went to Portugese Settlement to join the countdown… WOW it was as though a haven for rats. The place was packed with people of all ages; not to mention pathetically spraying artificial spray snow to public as well as buffoons releasing firecrackers….

Despite all that nuisance, I enjoyed most by watching the various genuine lighting decorations of each and every house~~~

After the countdown and chaos, we went to Tribe for usual chit chatting~~~ with jessy, sophie, jenn, ah shuang, joanne, john, cheng hao, yong liang and jason~ The place was exquisite and phenomenal with the lighting and soft jazz music.. I love that place honestly~~~ It was our group’s TREND to play True or dare~~ omg~ it really stuck my vital laughter spot when Yong liang was declaring “I have a gf” while Ah shuang was “I don’t have a bf”. Eventually, someone from the other table presented him with a durex~~ haha >.< it was really hilarious….

Later, we ended up at kee siang’s house to call it a day~~~~ I gave her a Christmas tree as to reminisce about our 1st xmas together~~ I aint have no idea whether she liked it~~ but personally, I think the tree carried a personal and special meaning. My dear and I was feeling lots of intimacy and love that night like never before~~
Two days later, we went KL to spend our Christmas with a group of 7 which were me, Zhu, Munkey, john, TUPAI and BABI EMAS and eventually JENN.

The first stop was v’la court hotel~~ It was a pleasant hotel with adequate rooms. To be honest, the price charged along with the room’s capacity was tolerable. Later, we went to times square to meet up with jing zhu and had lunch. Beverages and food at kl were mouth watering food as there are a variety of them provided with their comfortable and air- conditioned place to feast. Next stop, we went to Mid valley to catch a movie. OMG~ that zhu without a doubt found a place to sit first as she was feeling fatigued and her feet were feeling sour.. can you believe that? For the 1st time in all my shopping years, I was finding places to sit instead of finding shops to shop till I drop~~

Later on, we went to catch a movie entitled Zombie Land~~ *laughs it was a hilarious movie but not to zhu and the monkey beside me who was screaming at the wrong time and place ==” .. We ended up back at the hotel while KS took his leave back to JB~~~ John and I slept “early” as our eyes were attached to the movie TITANIC on rmtv 2. The next morning, == sienz~~ I had insufficient sleep and I need time to fully wake up~~ FA DAI MODE~~ the zhu and monkey were striving hard to wake us up and it was freezing cold in that room~ those two aunties – sigh~~~

Around 12, we went to times square to meet up with jenn and did what were we here for! Shopping!! Unfortunately again, that ah poh was sitting down at one of the resting benches. =.=” She was motivated to shop when we reached sungai wang and at least she purchased a short pants~~~ I laughed to myself when the guys stand in a row outside the store as they were waiting for their gfs or wives.. haha how ironic it is :P…. In the end, I have to queue up for zhu as the queue was very long like the Great wall of China.

~~~ Munkey and Jenn were shopping as though money grew on trees…and I purchased a pair of shoes that she favoured. I was feeling miserable as well as she was being indecisive and you know what? I just solved her problem by purchasing the pair of shoes for her~~ PROBLEM SOLVED~~ at least I bought something that she keens~
The trip ended as we separated our ways back to our respective headed destinations.. That feeling of separation was unbearable.. and I could only sent her away with a goodbye kiss…
BB dear.. miss u~~~

small L & big L

2009-12-16T07:20:00.000-08:00

a little fondness or sensation of overflowing love??
how do they differ? btw like and love??

like and love are two absolute different things...
People sometimes do get confused including me... but this time I would like to stand up to my point~~ as I wouldn't want to be in the same boat with the CONFUSED or NOT SURE category~~

Like is as though knowing more friends... you like this person or that guy etc etc~~ but the main point is that like differ from love in such a way, its just like a lighter. Its a starter of the race of your inner feeling; whether it will continue to develop or not - it all depends on your institution and the most crucial point; FEELINGS - Gan jue....

From my own experience, liking someone in your daily life means when you will look forward to chat with that particular person via sms, msn or any type of communication. You will find yourself unexpectedly dumb yet a little humorous when you use numerous methods to know more of that person you are keen to....
For example, she/he is the 1st person you search/look when you activate your msn/facebook account or simply trying to send ridiculous messages to that person~~ You don't know if the two of you are going to grow to be the best of friends or discover that you really don't like that person as much as you thought you would. I don't really think that you can lump together like and love because they are so different.Its one thing to like a person but its quite another to love that person.

On the other hand,Love is a different thing because love runs deeper than like. Love is more forgiving and more giving than like. You wouldn't just give anything to somebody you liked, but you would for the person that you love because its more special and precious. You would do anything to cheer up that person when she's down or to tag along with her mood 24/7. Liking somebody is just liking somebody but loving somebody means making more sacrifice, being more giving and being a little bit more honest with somebody. Love is more than just a friendship and its more than just honesty. Its about giving, sharing and most of all its about commitment to that one person and nobody else......

These sort of feeling you have to taste it for your own~~~ it would be better for self-experience~~

미안, 미안 :(

2009-12-11T22:54:00.000-08:00

무슨 짓을 한거야?
당신은 멍청한 바보 아론!
To hurt someone's heart you saranghae~~
넌 멍청이야!
doing nothing right except trouble! - this is what my mum used to tell me~~~Am I that useless in this sorting out this sort of problem?
나 인정 내가 말을 잘 못하 오전 ~~
but can u give another chance to this stupid, forgetful,slow and ugly duckling another opportunity to understand you????
나도 몰라 만약 그녀가 이걸 읽고 오직 하나님을 알고 ~~~

미안합니다~~~
ごめなさい~~~

2H 1 L

2009-12-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, her pm said " happiness last momentarily" and eventually, I asked her to share her problems or thoughts with me. In return, she replied "nth" but I know there's gotta be something which is bothering her~~

Do I really have to go back to square 1?

A friend of mine once shared with me, in a relationship there's an algebraic equation , 2H 1L which 2hearts 1 love~~~
H - help and look for each other
H - honest towards one another
L - love one another

In my case, I have tried my very best to achieve 2H 1L...
Although I admit, our relationship has some flaws and I wish to repair it ~ not alone but together with her~~ I wish our relationship would not be as though a TEST DRIVE~~ after you test drive, you just dump the car~ I don't want that to happen!

When she always reply nothing, it is equivalent to my failure and stupidity for not understanding her feelings, burdens and situation~~~As her bf, i m feeling a sense of overwhelmed guilt~ am i that useless?~~

Her blog had been deep silence for the past 3 months until recently she posted 3 new secured articles....

My conscious was telling me a wave is coming and it depends how strong our bond is...

I wished it would turn out good~~~and she would be ready to tell me everything~~

Love you,zhu~~

How to be happy for dummies~~~

2009-12-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

Being happy for who you are, what you do, what you feel about yourself~~ that's the key point to your genuine happiness~ Maybe we ask ourselves ?? Are you currently living your life to the fullest? remember people, time is very precious, there's time is not an asset where you could invest and will grant you more time in return. Inevitably, time flies in a glimpse~~

Even though I had to admit there are some tough times in my current situation, still I would put a smile on my face~~~ its not being fake instead encouraging myself to be happy and optimistic~~~ This phrase has been told by someone and she says being simple is much better than complicated~~~ Based on my conscience, I believe surrounding can influence a person dynamically and therefore, its vital to know whats around you and the people you are mixing with~~

Accept The Fact That You Deserve To Be Happy.

If you personally don't think that you deserve to be happy, then no wonder you're not. The messages you give yourself determine what direction your life will take. If you are telling yourself that you are unworthy or don't deserve happiness, then how can you expect to be happy?

Accept Who You Are.

Being happy today is accepting who you are; the good, the bad and the ugly. It's knowing that you are doing the best you can do, and being content with that. I'm not saying to ignore what you'd like to improve in your life, but if you only see what's missing, you lose out on "loving" what's great about you.

Ask For Help.

Being happy means not keeping your problems to yourself. It also means that you ask for support when you need it, and let others contribute to your life. Most of us don't ask for help because we don't want to burden the people around us. But, if someone asked you for assistance, wouldn't you lend a helping hand? Then why wouldn't you let others do the same for you?

Helping your friends or someone

Being happy today is doing something nice for someone else or helping your friends. The joy of helping people calms your heart and eventually, your problems become smaller when you are not always thinking about them. When you take the focus off yourself, it is easier to see how great your life really is.

Quotes~~

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~Palmer Sondreal

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

Just For you~~

2009-11-26T08:56:00.000-08:00

~~~
The day when she gave me d necklace, my heart experienced an impact of shock and surprise. I would have never thought she would buy a couple's necklace for us~~
That short period of time when she was sneaking around, my curiosity was starting to develop as my heart was filled with anxiety~~~
Shortly, she wore the appealing necklace, a male’s symbol-like necklace with a light green flower as the main decoration and the phrase “I love you forever” around my neck while hers saying “me too”…
During that moment, I was mesmerized and touched by the precious gift which she had given to me; in addition, she even told me that she had waited for a stretched time to purchase that pair of necklace~~~
~~ Recently, she had shared with me her thoughts; stating two rules of hers which I respect~~~ Simultaneously, it had both positive and negative impact on me but my conscience and institution were telling me, it’s not the end but it was just the beginning. Therefore, to maintain our relationship, every wise decision and action to be taken are absolutely vital!!!~~~
~~~ Not long again, I had hurt another person’s heart ~~~
By right, she knows at present, my heart is filled with my darling already but still, a foolish gamble was taken by her~~ Why? You should know the consequences clearly if you had confessed and eventually asking me to leave my gf and to start off with you? you must be nuts~~~… I think I have stated this very clearly that once I LOVE a person, the flame never die which is residing within me.
I was thinking to myself, whether I should share this with my dear as it might be a sensitive issue for her~~~ who knows~~~ I had written this blog to express my hidden thoughts into words~~If by chance, when she sees this blog, I hope she could understand my situation and sincerity as I would do the same for her~~~
Aaron~~

A mirror

2009-11-19T07:49:00.001-08:00

Looking at her right now burdens my heart occasionally as she is replica of me...
I would strongly agree that her character is very similar to mine...
That's another reason why the more I should help her..
My friend is in trouble; disturbed by her problems, uncertainties and worries...

As she was sharing with me just now, my mind flashed back those times when I once underwent similar situations with her...

All I can do now is to provide morale support and encouraging her to do whats right...
First and foremost, I'm happy enough as she confronted me previously to share her thoughts and problems.... and I'm overjoy to help in return..

Dun give up yeah~~!!! rmbr the qoutes I gave u and I hope deeply you find them useful... Hwaiting~~!!!

LIFE's a climb but the view is great~~~~

An angel.....

2009-11-19T05:34:00.000-08:00

18/11
yahoo!!! Meeting her after 3 days of missing her was totally awesome! For the past few days, inevitably, my heart was filled with her image, wondering whether her health has improved as she had been sicked for the past few days previously.

I was accompanying her for the day in completion of her assignment and etc. We went to date later as usual... :)and even tried to find potential dresses for prom night. It was hard for her to find her right choice of dress but I think I will not ever forget when she put on her 1st dress. When she opened the fitting room's door and just stood prettily, my jaw just dropped in awe and amusement. I was thinking to myself" omg she's so pretty!" .....

19/11

Last day before she left for hometown... Having her in my company for the half day was my pleasure. Plus, I went for a haircut 2day.. sigh really cant stand the hot weather these days and the hairstylist was asking me "heh where's your gf?"while giving my hair a trim...

Not quite some time later, she came in unknowingly without my notice but the hairstylist realised and asked me "heh is that ur gf?" I just replied with smile and a big "YES"...

I dunno why but a sense of joy and achievement I was experiencing that moment...
We went to Ks house's later for house meeting while she was being herself in her own world as usual - facebooking.. -.-" ....

I decided to lie down at John's bed as I had the "FEEL" to sleep (sigh, pity - i'm being called SNORLAX)Later, she joined me in bed and started to hug me in passion...
arhh... the physical comfort and transparent love was overflowing that moment and my heart exPLoded.. when she gave me a 10 seconds kiss on my lips...

I was shocked at 1st; not expecting she would perform that act... but in return, i just replied her kiss with a soft kiss on her lips.... as the saying goes, 1 for 1....
Ty for giving this day...
Anyway tcre my dear and take good care of urself~~~`Love u...

Confused

2009-11-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

~~~ can some things be proven by actions, figures of speech or the affection towards the other party? ~~~

Is simplicity is much more preferable than complexity or is it vice versa?

Does every course of action, decision, and thought means a lot to the other?

Week phobia

2009-11-07T09:35:00.000-08:00

What a week I had to undergo for the past few days....
In a glimpse, 3 consecutive tragical events had been fated to occur in my life.....

The first one was pretty personal which I wouldn't want to remind myself neither my darling as deep down in my heart, it was entirely my fault and the sense of guilt is killing me...

At this pivotal point, a great lesson which I have learned and wished to plant into my head that is to prioritise her safety and needs.

Secondly, I was enduring an anguish period of fever, sore throat, constipation, and etc. There was a huge gap of time since I last fell sick and I was lying total flat on the bed for the whole day!

Thirdly, my grandpa had went to the afterlife where he is at ease. It was too sudden as doc claimed his pancreas was suffering inflammation and consequently affecting main vital organs especially the heart. At 9.20pm, Saturday, he left this world and I was pretty glad that I managed to tell him my biggest secret.. I would say he's the 1st family member whom I told regarding my secret. Inevitably, I missed him as a grandpa; flashed back those moments where he took care of me and my bro, the way he laughed and nagged at us. The last day of the funeral, I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw his coffin going into the chamber slowly bit by bit......

These three events had indirectly trained me up to handle situations in a calmer and systematic way.... although I had to admit, it was tough..really tough... Being tough aint easy but acting tough is much more difficult.

~~~~~ untitled.. too bored and lazy to think ...

2009-10-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

Omg … without a doubt, this is the most horrible sem break which I have to undergo..
Rubbish absolutely rubbish…

It’s either busy completing unnecessary chores or ending up enduring the boredom to the max. For the 1st time, I asked myself what I’m supposed to do??? T_T can you believe it ? Before the sem break, plentiful ideas were gushing through my mind… but now its an entire different situation…

Sigh.. I realized that whatever I’m doing now including eating, on9-ing, anime-ing half heartedly; seems like there’s absolute absence of motivation in me. All that reside in my mind now is two things. 1st definitely is my dear. Honestly, now it is proven that the word “LOVE” is a very powerful and influensive word almost like an influenza. Thanks to her, I feel it is a priority to give a sense of security and reliability to her plus standing strong in physical and mental wise. 2nd thing is my guitar practice.. sigh another hassle.. I’ll have to admit its my fault to training hard last minute -.- … hwaiting~~! Instead of complaining, all I can do is to train harder and harder day by day.

1 more day is the beginning of my 2nd sem… Another idiotic hassle where I think I have to register one of my subject manually besides the foolish result where we are required to go to ERU to obtain our results for the previous sem.

2 weeks of joy and despair

2009-10-19T02:38:00.000-07:00

It was still clear in my mind the last day we separated for 2 weeks…
1 day equivalent to a week, what about 2 weeks then? ..GG
In a glimpse, 1 week had passed… its fast though; I had to admit…
During the previous week, I went for a short trip to KL and JB. Besides shopping for 2 nightless days, ks, the gang and I met up with our old pal; CK. Still, there was that sort of awkwardness; maybe its just that we haven’t met for a long time (plus roger was there as well ==” ) After conquering shopping complexes- midvalley, garden, times square, we went to JB for a 5 hours bus ride. I felt lunatic when I had to sit still for 5 hours… it was almost impossible…

By the way, I had realized another thing which was I had become the sleeping king.. honestly, I had no idea what was going on with me. Throughout my whole journey, I spend most of my time sleeping and napping; entering the world of my own almost everywhere- the car, park, shopping complexes, stores…. Maybe, I m just too tired but when I shut my eyes, my thought was filled of HER and our happy memories…. and surprisingly, she was very “kuai”; sleeping early before 12 almost every night.. ^^

For now, I must concentrate on practicing my guitar skills as well as giving moral support to my dear as she’s gonna have her speaking test.. Gambateh! Hwaiting~~~!

5 I's ... i m sorry

2009-09-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have said this phrase a gazillion times…..
I’m really sorry, I couldn't be your dream guy as my heart is tied to someone else...
I don’t mean to pierce through your heart as I know every course of my actions is vital.
I hope the scars in your heart won’t be permanent as guilt is overflowing within my soul...
I wish deeply in my heart you will find someone better than this wrecked tool …..

Why is this happening repetitively? Maybe like what someone has told me before, it is because of your personality - my dear has told me before. Ignorance and taking certain things for granted are my biggest mistake. For some things in life, we as guys take things lightly meanwhile we are not aware that the opposite sex take in heavily. From the outside, they seem fine but deep down inside, it is another story. Recently, seeing my girlfriend’s hearts being slashed from time to time is tragic. Personally, me as a guy feel shameful, hatred while having pity for them. Those sorts of feelings are hard to express yet tough to keep as well….

These recent happenings have made me to appreciate my beloved even more.. L0vE u dear….

What a night....

2009-09-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, my machine's battery was deteriorating as I went out for half of the day. After coming back from a long drive with friends, there was another late night birthday party. She was my classmate; not very familiar – still since I was invited, why not? Anyway, I love to birthday parties ^^
Then, we played Dare (X true) to kill time and boredom. I was lucky enough initially to escape from “death” – my beloved tio the 1st time; following my gang…
Ding dong! It was a turnover as I got the “A” heart card. Well, I had to give a peck to my dear for like 5 seconds…. It was pretty strange doing it in front of public – I would rather take it to myself and her alone. Next, I stepped on “shit” again and had to perform a song for her…. Wow…. It didn’t even come across my mind…
I was feeling regretful as I was not that fluent in mandarin or else “it” would be a song selection for her. Singing “more than words” by westlife in front of my friends and her…. wasn’t easy – I felt as though my heart wanna burst out, yet all I did was to have her pictured in my thought and I just follow the flow… It wasn’t good – I admit XP but the words are sincere…. Don’t worry next time, I would come up with a different song ^.^
Hwaiting~

Perfect Day

2009-09-06T01:20:00.000-07:00

5/9/2009

What a perfect day to begin. After securing 1^st place in the business competition, result of our hard work and effort was really worth it. I would say it ain’t easy at all planning and organizing a business plan. It was tough like climbing up Mount Everest. My presentation fragment didn’t work out as well as my expectation but all praise to God that we were able to shine during Q&A session. Receiving a cash of RM1000 and good commentaries from people really did make us feel like celebrity.

After that, I went home to take a nap to prepare for the big night – the night I have been waiting for a long period of time. Thankfully, everything went according to plan and we had a great time together (details are P&C). For the 1^st time in my life, I finally understood that sort of sickness…. and through this, I felt another step closer to you ….

Saranghaeyo ……..

EGAMES MMU CLOSED DOTA TOURNAMENT

2009-08-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

What a great today as I could finally involved in a gaming event... DAEBAK!(Success) It was really tough setting up the equipment as I'm not an IT breed..... So, I'm pretty noob in these sort of things but gaming is in my blood! ^^ that's what I'm good in.

Looking at those players; pro's and not so pro (not noob = 3 =") really boiled the whole atmosphere. Thanks to the supportive crowd, our mini-event is a success ^.^ ....
The most significant match would be the last as the sentinel team managed to destroy the fountain! (only dota players will know) NO shyt man.....

Best of all, I managed to play COD4 with the Hi-com FOC!!! hehe *so satisfying ....

Still, I have to finish up cyber p =.= JOY KILLER

Again & Again

2009-08-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

..........
.............
.................
Finally, the boy of reasons came to pay us a visit - awww... pity him, he had to take a long route just to reach Malacca. It had been centuries since I last saw him and we had an awesome insane time 38-ing with the guys and gals. It was good to have him back and we chatted lots of stuff together just like old times.....

The same misery came to drowned our minds again.......just like old times ==.....

Cont'd

2009-08-18T21:23:00.001-07:00

sorry for the fragmented part because i was sort of blogging at the wrong time XD (P&C)...anyway...

it was like as though God was giving me a hint or maybe an opportunity. Well, every time its like this, just like 5 years back... sigh.. those feeling again...

Do I wait or not? this question has troubled me for quite some time last trimester and I thought it ended in my beta year but unfortunately, things don't flow smoothly. Waiting for someone, that sort of feeling is undescribable, that urging feeling which you would like to express to that particular person,telling her how much you love her and etc. I had went through this experience waiting for this person for a long period of time and people around me keep reminding me of my stupidity. I Sigh, maybe I'm just too naive in handling relationships.

Is now the right time to date? I wonder.... "Am I nw really emotionally stable to have one? or am i qualified or to have the right to love someone nw?" I have asked myself this question numerous times and the answer is always the same - " ___" blank......

Do You Believe in Fate?

2009-08-12T02:40:00.000-07:00

Neh, chung nah mida ....

Its like when sometimes, you meet your special one during unexpected times and you are just stunned there, not knowing what kind of reaction nor expression. Even sometimes I feel like....

to be continued

Its tough.....

2009-08-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

Its been too long since I last thought of you. After that day, we wished to proceed in life leaving the past, concentrate on the present and wishing the best for the future. During the holidays, it took me pretty hard time to really forget about it.....

Well maybe like what they said, people you favour of is easy to remember but hard to forget. My conscious keep telling me day by day to take baby steps and keep looking forward but...
my stubborn head and heart have the tendency to look back just in case there's a hope or maybe a miracle.....

Recently, I am stressed out due to assignments, exams and etc... Everything just compile together and it's pretty hard to take in all of them simultaneously. Peoples around me have been telling me I'm pretty cold these days and its true that I would prefer to set aside myself now to reflect on things (not being emo XD) During my saddened time, I will just think back of happy memories with you... Occasionally, I will just smile to myself like an insane person.. *smiles When I'm bored, I look back at my blog just to read up my past ... its as though a database of my memories...

The night which the farewell party falls, I received a message where I knew all my hopes, dreams, passion and love for you has died down but I took it like a man....Playing games, keeping in touch with secondary friends, watching kdrama daily is what I did to spend my sem breaks thinking maybe you would do the same as me knowing your character... haha ^^

There's a reason I have been thinking, why? isit I aint good enough despite my hideous looks, clown character or the previous misunderstandings? I never once think that you aren't a good pair for me instead, I would have a set of mind saying its always my problem and I have to improve myself for the better. Still, I think some things are just best not to be said..... when unnecessary moments.

Because I m stupid

2009-07-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

this lyrics of this song is really meaningful to me and I would like to personally dedicate this song to her.

Because i m stupid ss501
*eng translation

Because I am a fool
The only thing I think about is you
But I know that you are thinking about somebody else
And you probably dont even know my heart

I probably dont exist in your daily life
And Im sure you have no thoughts of me
But for me, I spend my days thinking about you
And my tears keep falling

Just looking at your retreating figure
Is happiness to me
Even if you dont know my feelings
Even if you simply brush me aside

CHORUS:
In those days when I desperately want to see you
Those days that are so hard to bear
My mouth wordlessly repeats I love you
Alone once again I cry for you
Alone once again Im missing you
Baby I love you
Im waiting for you

I probably dont exist in your daily life
And Im sure you have no memories of me
But for me, I spend my days thinking about you
And create my own memories

resolution

2009-06-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

end of my story ....
well i think i will stop blogging for now...
well fresh start of degree life.... busy busy... nt much time to even on9.. (lazy for nw XD )
anyway lets hope for d best for my degree life!...

Fighting~!

.. Shi fok sai...

2009-05-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

Finally, i'm feeling relieved and satisfied not worrying about the present and future neither the past... ^^

Ty for giving me that precious day ...

A small sparkle of light is burning again within my soul ... after a long time living in darkness...

Thank you so much.....

*muaxxx...

Inner Self

2009-04-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

I have always been asking myself, why don’t my body, actions, and speech collaborate with my thoughts? I have no idea, particular excuses or reasons why I’m acting this way. When I look at her face or maybe a little glance, my day even my most unlucky day is all brightened up…

But when it comes to conversation, it’s another story (*sigh)…maybe it’s just me being very shy. Strangely, when I meet her face to face, there’s a presence of devastating awkwardness and discomfort and I seems speechless occasionally.

Still, when I don’t see her even one day, I would have a thought of her and a little urge to meet her or maybe msg her to find out how’s she doing…

... To be cont’d

FRIENDS FOREVER

2009-04-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today, 13/4/2009 was like any of my daily routine but there was a space/gap in my heart the entire day. Why is this so? I asked myself numerous times, not knowing what’s wrong with me…

What I previously enjoyed doing or fooling around seemed boring today like there was no joy in it….

Maybe it was because my heng dai’s were not here today… I felt sorry for my friend when I overheard that his grandma had passed away. For a split moment, my mind flashed back to the days where my grandma breathed her last breath too. That awful pain and sorrow was completely obvious in my mind that moment. Surprisingly, I was feeling pretty lonely today…. I know it’s pretty foolish of me saying this… but maybe it’s just like what I said before…my whole “family” wasn’t here.

Fortunately, I managed to keep in touch with my “son” today. (* cheeky smile hehe) Its like been ages since I last really talked to him.. so I just kind of attended my pca class a little “earlier” than usual (trust me, bro ^^ ) and chatted with him in the car of our daily life and stuff besides helping him out with his pbu thinging… (pity him- has to carry the ice pack and table by himself). Deep down in my heart and soul, I just realized that good friends are really super duper tremendously extremely important…

Your decision

2009-04-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Just follow the flow of the river,
Love life and life will love you back,
Love people and they will love you back,
No matter what's your decision,
Without force and akwardness,
Your decision will be my wish.

Pushed to the limit!

2009-03-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

.......
.........
...........
Today was hilarious as all of us wore our "Keegan's Burger" t-shirt as a publicity tool; to add-on, people were looking at us, dumbfounded as we walked in a group to grab our lunch and even sat together at exactly the same row during lecture.
The following 3 weeks will be a tough week for me as my team and I are striving hard for our PBU project/business. As for me, I really hoped I could overcome the overwhelming surrounding tension and deep down in my heart, my soul is seeking help from friends...

Ty for your advices and suggestions all this while and I hoped for your guidance and support in future.

Dui bu qi

2009-03-27T01:57:00.000-07:00

As referred to the above, I am feeling idiotic for the stupidity of my mind. Instead of complaining and jabbering, I should think of ways to understand you much better and I'm currently feeling sorry to you for saying indirect unpleasant words about you. Maybe its just me being too selfish and self-centered; I think I owe you an indirect apology. I have now realised my stupidity and just want to fix things back.

Toi em chi, Dui bu qi and Sorry.

Tiring & boring day

2009-03-26T06:33:00.001-07:00

Dang! I overslept today till 10am which I was supposed to follow CK in the morning,9am for pbu stuff. My body was aching today as yesterday, I was the "yeh kuai" (nite ghost)busying with my stuff/IPG - sounded like someone hehe *cheeky laugh
Anyway, today was superfluous tiring for our team had to fold "THOUSANDS & THOUSANDS" of fliers-to-be. As my conscious is known of my personal experience, I'm not talented in folding papers/origami or anything has to do with handcrafts.Sigh* It worsened as the whole table was as quiet as a graveyard. Well, there were some sort of "entertainers" such Mr SH - ck and Kee Siang. No doubt there was nothing impossible for CK to do anything crazy; he was singing awfully "pleasant" at the lobby (ixora)-"MUSIC" to our ears, playing weird and EMO songs the entire morning. Well, that was no doubt that's CK.
I was planning to take in 'Livita' or 'Redbull' to 'ti shen' but unluckily, I had bad experience with them few days back. Man! I need my charger! My "energizer TM" and soul wearing off.....

Happy Loving Friends TM (adapted from happy tree friends)

2009-03-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

~*Teenage Love*~

Boy: I love you more than the air I breathe.
Girl: I'm always here for you. ^^
Boy: I know.
Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like this girl so much.
Girl: Talk to her then.
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won’t respond to my confession
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell.
Girl: Well just go on and tell her. It’s a worth a shot.
Boy: What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her.
Boy: I tell her that daily.
Girl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her for my deep love for her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem here and my admirer’ll never like me.
Boy: Wait. Whom do you like?
Girl: Oh some guy.
Boy: Oh is it? Guess we are on the same boat. Sigh, the conclusion is that she’ll never fall for me .
Girl: She does.
Boy: How do you know?
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You.
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.

MUSIC

2009-03-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. I would say music aided me recently to calm down and put on my thinking cap.In addition, I would like express my gratitude to Planetshakers for composing such great songs. Personally for me, music plays the role of a narrator telling a story, either happy or even sad times. In my leisure times, I would just play along with the music via my LOVELY bass guitar ^^ to rejuvenate myself..AHH!! love that feeling.

Quoted from "Nothing is impossible", Planetshakers

I can do anything
I can do all things
Cause it's you who gives me strength
Nothing is impossible!

This particular phrase is the one that keeps me going in life ^^ Go Planetshakers!

Sharing moments

2009-03-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

(Blows, coughs) “Man, so much dust”. Well, it has been ages since I last blogged. Due to massive workloads and time-consuming long term assignments, “daily-ron” has been abandoned for quite some time. Still, it resurrected today! 9.52 pm! 23/3/2009!

Sigh, so much to tell but yet, so little to explain. I personally have to admit as a guy, I’m much more emotional these days. It’s as though a machine has reached its limit. I was told by a friend that, sometimes it’s better to let it out (sharing problems) rather taking the burden all by yourself. There was another saying which was “try to relax, don’t think too much” as well as “you never try, you never know”. These phrases are actually tallying close to my current problems and miseries. In the midst of facing these obstacles, I am trying to stand firm, be strong and think optimistically even now ,but easier said than done.

For me, I could give advises and suggestions (theories) to friends on how to tackle their major or minor problems, even to the extend of teaching on how to apply the theories into reality. Yet, I couldn’t practice them myself and I think it’s kind of silly of me. This semester, I would say it’s one of the worst and the best period of time in my entire life.

With conflicts scattering all around among friends, people’s attitude began to change or should I say, showing their true “colours”, and maybe feeling a great distance or gap between certain friends, and some personal problems which I hoped I would never encounter in my life, my conscious was telling me I couldn’t bear all of this anymore. For certain reasons, I wished I could just step out of the box for a moment.
Those were referring to my awful memories and moments in university.

Despite all that, I was given the most precious gift (feeling) in my entire life. After waiting for 5 years, searching for that particular feeling, it came to me without me even realizing it. I would say it’s worth it despite all the miseries I have. For when I’m down or my soul feeling weary, she’s the one would give me strength, regenerating every cell and power in my “battery”. But! I ain’t have an idea whether she realizes it and strangely, I could feel her feelings either happiness or sadness. Well, logically, maybe it’s just me being too sensitive.

Plus, personally for me, liking someone doesn’t mean you have to be with that person. If you could just cherish or care for her, it would be more than enough and most vital of them all, if she’s happy, then I’m happy.

Relaxing Day

2009-02-20T08:53:00.001-08:00

*big laugh MWHAHA! I felt renewed today!!! Everything seemed running smoothly and of course better than my anticipation. My emotions were filled with overwhelming joy as though hitting jackpot or winning the 1st prize of Toto 4D when Mr. Lim finally acknowledged my log report. Unfortunately, before this, the lecturer was not satisfied with the previous reports as the information stated was not specific enough and eventually demanded for changes. I had changed the report numerous times; coincidentally someone asked me, “why are you so patient with this guy? You still could smile to him and meet the terms of his suggestion?” My conscious was telling me that I should maintain my professionalism in projects for this indirect practice will be beneficial in future. Plus, as what is stated in my personal message, msn currently, “learning how to differentiate and manage”, to illustrate, I found that adapting on how to differentiate between friendship or relationships and assignments or some sort of projects is very essential. Not forgetting, I realized that I must put more effort in managing my time and emotions in the dealing with projects.

After meeting the lecturer, I went back to FBL just to “choi soi” and “keh poh” with my project members. Chatting with my silly friends who are “sohai” as well as “sohai-niss” really cheered me up again although previously, I was badly affected by some regrettable incidents. Anyway, God! Thank You for giving me this day ^^

State of confusion

2009-02-10T05:42:00.001-08:00

The feeling of not knowing what's the next step to do, which decision should I make and what would be the consequences, how can I cope up with things, the feeling of unable to share with someone ... I'm just speechless... Just follow the flow then ...

Overflowing pressure

2009-02-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

Arggh!!! here we go again. The final semester is so packed till it suffocates my precious time; I even could feel the aura of overwhelming pressure flooding my brain. Still, we couldn't run away from facts. Sigh =.="

It seems this semester, I'm in a state of confuse again for some unexpected people change in a good way, numerous conflicts arose out of misunderstanding and the thing that troubles me most is which path of future should I take. By experiencing it currently, the poem "The Road Not Taken" really poached my mind. At the same time, I feel I'm really gonna miss my friends- guys and girls. To those I'm close with or not, I really appreciate their presence and help. So, I really hope this semester, we would face our problems and assignments as a whole with tolerance and patience towards each other. I wouldn't want a bad memory as this is our last semester and guys&gals, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to give my appreciation to you all ---**Thank you so much**---- ^^

A meet up after a long time =3

2009-01-25T04:14:00.001-08:00

Sunday! time to go church! fortunately, I managed to attend church despite I overslept XD Today was one of my happy days for my dear best friend since kindergarten, Ced was back at Malacca. It had been quite an age since I last saw him. Today, my half day was spend with him at mp, did guys stuff (p/s not gay!)We went shopping randomly for clothes, shoes and etc.Certainly, we did talk - "yam cha" at sushi king just to catch things up between each other.Then, we proceeded to my favourite spot!! ARCADE- Daytona. Well, we had a couple of battles and still,he had to call me Sifu ^^ (don't be angry ced when you read this *lawlz)Anyway, deep down in my heart, I'm really glad to have a friend like him.So that's why readers, FRIENDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT!

Not enough sleep

2009-01-14T06:49:00.000-08:00

OMG! Two consecutive days with insufficient sleep was torturing yet full of excitement. These two days, Chi kit ( pervert king ), Jason, John, and I were dotaing every night till 6 am for 6-7 hours straight. *haa… filled with satisfactory. We also had “dim sum” and “bak kut teh” for breakfast as well as hawker food for lunch. While the lights out, we played “gay” among the guys; it was super duper hilarious! The staying overnights and hanging out thinging really drew us closer together ^^

Another Day

2009-01-10T21:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was another gathering with my main "family". I reached Ixora around 3.00 pm; called John whether he was at home. Poor John. He had not even taken his breakfast and lunch yet as a consequent of he couldn't get out of Ixora because Jason accidentally took his Id card the day before. So, out of sympathy,I "da pao" western cuisine for him. Later, we played dota till 8pm .. Ah.. *smiles.. An awesome satisfaction ^^ John was owning as he got consecutive holy shyt!!!

Around 8pm we departed to MP to meet up with Chi kit and Pui Ru at sushi king for dinner. Well, I had to say that the food over there rather pricey but anyway, its just once in a blue moon. Then, once again my favourite spot!!!! DAYTONA!!! *hehe once again, we lost all our sportsmanship and drove aggressively. We continued bowling till 12am; we had so much fun. I had to say Pui ru's score was the most stable among all of us. Plus, John was given the name "Bowling DK" for every of his throw "drift" at the ditch of the bowling lane. Keegan's score rocketed despite he was frequently saying, "wo pu huey wan de"(I don't know how to play). In addition, I had to give my praise to Jason as he was brave enough to throw the number "14" ball. After all that fun, we headed home to end the day.

Great memories that should not be forgotten

2009-01-08T07:05:00.000-08:00

Man, it felt good two days ago that finals finally came to an end. Filled with great joy, my "family" and I decided to go out and "hang kai" around Malacca town area. Time seemed had been hastened that morning. Jason and I were rushing to grab the crucial opportunity of renting a car instead of paying rather pricey taxi fees. Fortunately, there was a "kancil" available to rent, though it was an aged manual car - you can even changed gear without pressing clutch =="

Still, I didn't have the courage to drive manual as I had not driven manual car for a long time - scared my engine would die off. >< So, Jason drove the manual "kancil" while I took his auto "kancil". ARGHH!!! the thing I hate most. We waited at least 15 min for the "princesses" who are staying at EP. As you all know well, girls forever will be girls. Anyway, we reached at dataran around late afternoon ; soon after that, Eng Siong and I went to dreambox to book a room for karaoke. "Wow!" that was my first impression when I first entered into dreambox as the lighting's' colour mixtures were soothing and suited every corner of the place harmonisingly.

Then, we went to Wong Kwok restaurant for lunch. After ordering food – there was not much options on the menu, OMG!!! The 2^nd biggest mistake I made in my life!!!! There was this weird drink that Seh Teing recommended me to try. It was called “Gentleman”. Come on, why on earth would someone named a drink , “gentleman” ? *laughs. The drink’s colour was awful; filled with different combinations of “gay” colours – bright and dark pink, yellow and etc – that were what my friends named it.

The taste? I think I would leave that to your thinking and all I can say is that drink is more favoured by children. Around 4 plus, before we went to dreambox, we set off to the arcade at the ground flour of DP - one of my favourite spots of a shopping complex. It was hilarious when 6 of us guys – Kee Siang, John , Jason , Cheng Hau, Eng Siong, and me were competing aggressively in Daytona. Heh, what do you say? Almost all of us can drift ><

Soon, we combined back with the girls and headed towards dreambox. Certainly, I sang my favourite songs – All Rise, More Than Words, etc sang by Blue and Westlife. Regrettably, I can’t sing Chinese or Cantonese songs since Chinese characters are unfamiliar to me but still, I would like to learn ^^ In my gang, Eng Siong is counted as a good singer with his typical Chinese assent while for the girls, overall of them can sing. On the other hand, some gave the typical excuses for not singing, microphone phobia and overwhelming shyness. Next, we went to GSC and caught a movie entitled “Daai sau cha ji neui- lady cop and papa crook” around 7pm. In general, that movie was worth watching with Sammie Cheng as the lead actress and Eason Chan as the lead actor.

After the movie, the girls headed home while we (guys) continued our “yam cha” at Mac Donald, “choi soi” and “kong si fei” over there. Around 11, Jason and I drove the guys back to UG and Ixora. I almost laughed my head off when Jason told me that while Kee Siang took over Jason’s place for a short period of time, his engine died off several times at the red light. *laughs. After sending them back, it was my turn. It really did bring back good memories of driving manually when I got the wheel. The sensation of changing gears and playing with the clutch was unexplainable. Jason stayed over at my house for a night as his parents were not at home. Dang! Both of us played Pc games till 6.00 am before sleeping

Interacting with FRIENDS with the same thoughts

2009-01-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

ARGGHHH!!!! Bored!!!! As usual, this morning's plan was nothing more than ordinary. Study, study, study! Sigh, what a boring day. The world turned upside down when my friends-Alice, Jason, John and I went out for dinner. (too exaggurating*cheeky laugh)

"Tui, tui! e yang de siang fat!" (translation- right right!, d same thought!). If I'm not mistaken, we applied that phrase more than 10-20 times in our conversation at the dinning table. We were discussing general topics(food, travelling) which you readers might think are dull and mind-numbing subjects. It was kinda hilarious when some of us tend to feel left out of the topic, like the man-glish saying(mandarin + english), "Wo get pu tau" *laughs. John's comical expression besides his impatient behaviour which was urging us to change the topic that he was not keen of was very humourous. Plus, I was laughing my head off when "high-5-ing" with Alice everytime we had the same thought of a certain topic. On the other hand, Jason, the "kuai chai" was more like 5 year old kiddo wondering what were we talking about as he occasionally seemed left out.

Usually during interaction with friends, the most vital matter is that each and every one of us are able to connect together.

1st day of 2009

2008-12-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

Today's PCA presentation felt more like 50/50 of failure and success as I was pretty darn nervous this afternoon. Still, the thing that was really bothering me was, in my thoughts, or so-called wonderland, time do really passed quickly just like the monsoon wind. Sharp at 12am, while I was busy sending new year's message to all my known friends, my little brain at the top had the thought of, "Man, I'm another year elder. OMG!!! I m 19 years old!!! Another year 20!!". My heart had a strong impact reflected by the fact of aging. Generally, feedbacks from friends and relatives stated that I don't have the 18 years old look but instead 20 and above *sigh T-T. Occassionally, I do really hoped I wouldn't age that fast or maybe just be like Peter Pan in Wonderland. What a silly thought of mine....

Tiring day

2008-12-29T07:57:00.000-08:00

Today seems a little bored and dull. I have no idea why, even myself feeling kinda moody, restless, and lethargic. Sigh, I think most probably lots of mixed emotions filled me up this morning. I'm personally not a sexiest; yet, I think being a girl is much more fortunate compared to a guy. In reality, its always the girls who have the priority to accept or turn down a guy's offer. Lately, my friend and I kinda been troubled by this matter. As we are in the same condition, my friend has really put all his effort in this girl when he had just overcome his feelings over his ex-crush. As both of us never date before, its kinda hurtful being rejected directly and indirectly. Seeing my friend now is as though seeing myself... What a day....

1st day of blogging

2008-12-28T02:33:00.000-08:00

Wassup y'all ^^ hmmm .. actually my friends encouraged blogging for the past few weeks. Initially, i have absolute no idea what's the point of blogging and my first bad impression was that people blogged for the purpose of attention and perhaps fame. Sorry guys no offense. But when I really looked back, I think blogging is more sort of expressing yourself. I feel more relaxed and at ease. This is my story. I'm an English educated person and English, I could say is my main language. It's a turn over point since I stepped my foot at uni. Every now and then, I have been trying my best to adapt to Mandarin and Cantonese as they were not my primary language. Easier said than done; still, with the help of my friends, my management on these two languages have improved. I'm absolutely grateful to them. Its kinda funny when they are trying to figure out my message and cracking their heads off. Over here, I sort of develop my own chinese and stuff. There's once when my friend asked me, "how come you insist on speaking chinese with us instead of english?" Well, maybe you guys think I m dumb or a doofus. To me, I would prefer to adapt to the enviroment rather than vice versa. In life, we just can't be too selfish and childish, wishing all things in life would go our own way. That's one thing i learn from the experience in life and literacy.This blog is beneficial to me as I could really fully express myself in blogging in english. lolz, now I really do believe the song, " more than words" sang by Westlife.