Yesterday night around the period from 11pm to 12am, my HTC phone received a message which I would not dare to imagine. Eventually, I went to the clinic to take d "X"paper from the nurse at the counter; her cheerful smile comforted me slightly but I could not avoid the reality. In the "x" paper, the word "recommended" troubled me for the entire night causing me almost sleepless night.
With a strong drive, I was so eager to tell my dear regarding this but I couldn't get through her and seeing her exhausted and a little pressurized due to her complex schedule, I thought to back off and settle this by myself again. Standing alone, I feel it would not troubled the people beside me. Others might think that my matter is just a minor problem or maybe is to be taken for granted but to me personally, its like the matter of life and death.....
I wouldn't force others to put themselves into my shoes or sympathy.. but just their ignorance...
Today, my 1st class really cheered me up momentarily as my mind went white like a blank paper; no worries or troubles but it was another story later on. Later it was my mutual class with her and she was chatting all happily with her friends. Deep inside, I had brought the "X" paper with me, wanting to show her and telling her my misery since I had no one else to share with. Throughout the class, as she was busy chatting with her friends, my soul felt lonely and empty although she was just right beside me. My mood sunk down like a landslide and I had no intention of telling initially, seeing her with a happy-go-lucky attitude. As a result, there was no eagerness in me to break her mood as she had just underwent a tough week and there are more on the way.
Later on, my temper and mood just fluctuate causing me to leave her behind alone which I hardly perform acts like this. The main thing is that I realised that the "x" paper was missing! omg that form cost around rm180!!!
Can u imagine that sort of situation!!! without a doubt, I was running up and down, struggling to find that "x" paper but it was nowhere to be found.Regardless of that current situation, I went to ep, the girls dorm to search the "x" paper in her file but unfortunately, it wasn't there. At that moment, there was this intense pressure hovering me.
I felt like screaming or crying out loud but that was not my option. Quickly, I gave a call to my doctor and thank god! a light of hope had sparked! He told me that it was covered by insurance and it was possible to refund rm180 if I choose not to go.
As a result, I took the chance to tell her everything, my misery, trouble, worries and dissatisfaction. Regretfully, I asked her the same previous question and to consider seriously. Some might say that I m being too emotional or worry too much about the little details and obstacles in a relationship In my perception, these little problems which are not sorted out will eventually affect your relationship heavily and leading to an undesirable situation consequently.
It always that this health matter will affect me deeply and its not be taken lightly within myself. This will definitely reflect on her and myself....
Based on the answer she gave me, I felt confident and I deeply hoped this sparkle of fire will continue burning...
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