Its tough.....

Its been too long since I last thought of you. After that day, we wished to proceed in life leaving the past, concentrate on the present and wishing the best for the future. During the holidays, it took me pretty hard time to really forget about it.....

Well maybe like what they said, people you favour of is easy to remember but hard to forget. My conscious keep telling me day by day to take baby steps and keep looking forward but...
my stubborn head and heart have the tendency to look back just in case there's a hope or maybe a miracle.....

Recently, I am stressed out due to assignments, exams and etc... Everything just compile together and it's pretty hard to take in all of them simultaneously. Peoples around me have been telling me I'm pretty cold these days and its true that I would prefer to set aside myself now to reflect on things (not being emo XD) During my saddened time, I will just think back of happy memories with you... Occasionally, I will just smile to myself like an insane person.. *smiles When I'm bored, I look back at my blog just to read up my past ... its as though a database of my memories...

The night which the farewell party falls, I received a message where I knew all my hopes, dreams, passion and love for you has died down but I took it like a man....Playing games, keeping in touch with secondary friends, watching kdrama daily is what I did to spend my sem breaks thinking maybe you would do the same as me knowing your character... haha ^^

There's a reason I have been thinking, why? isit I aint good enough despite my hideous looks, clown character or the previous misunderstandings? I never once think that you aren't a good pair for me instead, I would have a set of mind saying its always my problem and I have to improve myself for the better. Still, I think some things are just best not to be said..... when unnecessary moments.

Because I m stupid

this lyrics of this song is really meaningful to me and I would like to personally dedicate this song to her.

Because i m stupid ss501
*eng translation

Because I am a fool
The only thing I think about is you
But I know that you are thinking about somebody else
And you probably dont even know my heart

I probably dont exist in your daily life
And Im sure you have no thoughts of me
But for me, I spend my days thinking about you
And my tears keep falling

Just looking at your retreating figure
Is happiness to me
Even if you dont know my feelings
Even if you simply brush me aside

CHORUS:
In those days when I desperately want to see you
Those days that are so hard to bear
My mouth wordlessly repeats I love you
Alone once again I cry for you
Alone once again Im missing you
Baby I love you
Im waiting for you

I probably dont exist in your daily life
And Im sure you have no memories of me
But for me, I spend my days thinking about you
And create my own memories

resolution

end of my story ....
well i think i will stop blogging for now...
well fresh start of degree life.... busy busy... nt much time to even on9.. (lazy for nw XD )
anyway lets hope for d best for my degree life!...

Fighting~!

.. Shi fok sai...

Finally, i'm feeling relieved and satisfied not worrying about the present and future neither the past... ^^

Ty for giving me that precious day ...

A small sparkle of light is burning again within my soul ... after a long time living in darkness...

Thank you so much.....

*muaxxx...

Inner Self

I have always been asking myself, why don’t my body, actions, and speech collaborate with my thoughts? I have no idea, particular excuses or reasons why I’m acting this way. When I look at her face or maybe a little glance, my day even my most unlucky day is all brightened up…

But when it comes to conversation, it’s another story (*sigh)…maybe it’s just me being very shy. Strangely, when I meet her face to face, there’s a presence of devastating awkwardness and discomfort and I seems speechless occasionally.

Still, when I don’t see her even one day, I would have a thought of her and a little urge to meet her or maybe msg her to find out how’s she doing…

... To be cont’d

FRIENDS FOREVER

Today, 13/4/2009 was like any of my daily routine but there was a space/gap in my heart the entire day. Why is this so? I asked myself numerous times, not knowing what’s wrong with me…

What I previously enjoyed doing or fooling around seemed boring today like there was no joy in it….

Maybe it was because my heng dai’s were not here today… I felt sorry for my friend when I overheard that his grandma had passed away. For a split moment, my mind flashed back to the days where my grandma breathed her last breath too. That awful pain and sorrow was completely obvious in my mind that moment. Surprisingly, I was feeling pretty lonely today…. I know it’s pretty foolish of me saying this… but maybe it’s just like what I said before…my whole “family” wasn’t here.

Fortunately, I managed to keep in touch with my “son” today. (* cheeky smile hehe) Its like been ages since I last really talked to him.. so I just kind of attended my pca class a little “earlier” than usual (trust me, bro ^^ ) and chatted with him in the car of our daily life and stuff besides helping him out with his pbu thinging… (pity him- has to carry the ice pack and table by himself). Deep down in my heart and soul, I just realized that good friends are really super duper tremendously extremely important…

Your decision

Just follow the flow of the river,
Love life and life will love you back,
Love people and they will love you back,
No matter what's your decision,
Without force and akwardness,
Your decision will be my wish.