Another chance

Its really "early" here but I have to work on some project to study about. Still, this matter has bothered me since the first day of my leave. I started to collect my thoughts and said, "This is it", I have come this far in time and place. I had to say I was a fool before, but I' m not going to be another fool this time. Things which I realized or did not before was in the past but I want to make up for it. It has been not too long since we broke up but it gave me sufficient time to reflect on things. Mistakes that I did unto her and I admit it for my stupidity. I really hope its not too late now and I hope to tell her that to give ourselves another chance. A chance where I did not accomplish before. Instead of just hoping, I'm putting it into action. I don't know what's exactly her feelings now but I know that I wouldn't want to regret miserably in the future.

christianity

Some people had misunderstandings of Christianity of being forceful and a "RELIGION" you have to accept. People have argued on this issue as it concerns religious aspects. Personally, I felt this tends to be more a RELATIONSHIP and self experience is best to describe HIM. I have tried sharing to someone close to me before but she eventually declined. It breaks my heart as we cannot be in one yolk together as I wish for. Things have fall apart but I pray to God that I could put them together. Well, best get to bed, its church day tomorrow. Amen.

A life dream

It is an alien environment to live around here. new people, food consumption and habits which I don't usually carry out. Its "early" in the morning but yet I find myself, just woke up from a dream. A dream where it might happen or not. Going on this journey has widened my eyes and point of view in different perspectives. If I have another chance to make things right, things would be different. It isn't easy letting go but otherwise for remembering the moments.

My story

Its been a while since I last blogged,I still remember vividly that our beginning, middle stage of our relationship are all recorded here. Unfortunately, this is the end of our relationship. Reading at her blog posts just reminds us of our sufferings. My feelings remain the same but it was nothing but a negative consequent. In my thoughts, did I really treated her with a bad intention? On one's perspective this relationship from the beginning was a failure but I try to save it at its best way. Its challenging for two person of different characteristics and worlds of their own come together as one. I have to say it's been filled with love and excitement.From the very start till now, I have not thought that you are a bad person, unqualified girlfriend for me, but I try to be that perfect guy for you. I don't feel continue writing the bad endings of our story but just remember the good bits of it. I don't know about you regretting accepting me as your boyfriend but i treasure you along with the memories at heart. Last but not least, thank you so much for the care and love you have gave and sorry for pain and inconvenience. Goodbye and best of luck, love lots, Aaron signing off. P/S crap i really forget my wretch.cc/blog/aarongan05 password. I shall blog here once again

Last of its post

sad to say, I would leave this blog to rot as I would blog via wretch.~~~

BB all..

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/aarongan05

another fatal mistake~~

Yesterday night around the period from 11pm to 12am, my HTC phone received a message which I would not dare to imagine. Eventually, I went to the clinic to take d "X"paper from the nurse at the counter; her cheerful smile comforted me slightly but I could not avoid the reality. In the "x" paper, the word "recommended" troubled me for the entire night causing me almost sleepless night.

With a strong drive, I was so eager to tell my dear regarding this but I couldn't get through her and seeing her exhausted and a little pressurized due to her complex schedule, I thought to back off and settle this by myself again. Standing alone, I feel it would not troubled the people beside me. Others might think that my matter is just a minor problem or maybe is to be taken for granted but to me personally, its like the matter of life and death.....

I wouldn't force others to put themselves into my shoes or sympathy.. but just their ignorance...

Today, my 1st class really cheered me up momentarily as my mind went white like a blank paper; no worries or troubles but it was another story later on. Later it was my mutual class with her and she was chatting all happily with her friends. Deep inside, I had brought the "X" paper with me, wanting to show her and telling her my misery since I had no one else to share with. Throughout the class, as she was busy chatting with her friends, my soul felt lonely and empty although she was just right beside me. My mood sunk down like a landslide and I had no intention of telling initially, seeing her with a happy-go-lucky attitude. As a result, there was no eagerness in me to break her mood as she had just underwent a tough week and there are more on the way.

Later on, my temper and mood just fluctuate causing me to leave her behind alone which I hardly perform acts like this. The main thing is that I realised that the "x" paper was missing! omg that form cost around rm180!!!

Can u imagine that sort of situation!!! without a doubt, I was running up and down, struggling to find that "x" paper but it was nowhere to be found.Regardless of that current situation, I went to ep, the girls dorm to search the "x" paper in her file but unfortunately, it wasn't there. At that moment, there was this intense pressure hovering me.

I felt like screaming or crying out loud but that was not my option. Quickly, I gave a call to my doctor and thank god! a light of hope had sparked! He told me that it was covered by insurance and it was possible to refund rm180 if I choose not to go.

As a result, I took the chance to tell her everything, my misery, trouble, worries and dissatisfaction. Regretfully, I asked her the same previous question and to consider seriously. Some might say that I m being too emotional or worry too much about the little details and obstacles in a relationship In my perception, these little problems which are not sorted out will eventually affect your relationship heavily and leading to an undesirable situation consequently.

It always that this health matter will affect me deeply and its not be taken lightly within myself. This will definitely reflect on her and myself....

Based on the answer she gave me, I felt confident and I deeply hoped this sparkle of fire will continue burning...

A clear msg to two ppl~

well i will make short and direct because this has bothered me recently:

1st,

please dun bother me anymore although i appreciate your care and presence. The main point is i have a gf ady! so try to understand the situation. Like I told you b4, i have my limits and dun try me... If this continues, I would rather break off our friendship.

2nd,

I do understand friendship is important and it doesnt matter if that person is in relationship, his/her friendship still goes on. BT! watch your attitude because i am always watching you...pls know your limits~~